By our surfer dude
Charlie Nate
If you’re reading this I hope it’s with a box of Kleenex in one hand and life sized rubber snake in the other. The Taipan has dropped out of the 100 on the ‘QS and we all need to take a little responsibility.
What happened to the spirit of surfing’s yesteryear? Where we’d support anyone, provided they brought their own stupid nickname to the table?
Take Munga Barry – good surfer, great bloke – but what the people really bought into was the amount of absolute wanky hype surrounding the guy. What have we got now?
Rasta doesn’t count – from GC party-boy to Captain Planet, at least he’s backing it up by travelling the world to yell at Japanese people killing dolphins and wearing EnviroTrunks -not to mention smashing out nude shoots in Stab with his ex and now fingerbashing the super-hot chick off Home & Away (I made that last bit up but surely you’d have a crack).
Andy’s too honest, Dingo’s too quiet, Jay-Dub’s too nice. Bede: too boring. Taj: too focused now. Jordy: too saffa. Dane: too real. Kekoa: too fat. Tommy Whits: too shit.
The list goes on. Nothing can be both REAL and COOL. So you have to overcompensate somewhere – which is what Munga did in shedloads: made himself the icy king of the late 80’s early 90’s. Too bad COOL changes too rapidly and what was once the epitome of waveriding cool is now just another fluoro pair of tight neoprene boardies. Even now, Munga’s still selling it, man. I don’t mean to single out a guy who’s done a lot for the sport (albeit with only two ‘CT wins after more than 10 years on tour) but I guarantee you Occy (one of the realest blokes around) isn’t calling himself The Raging Bull in 10 years time.
Munga was a personality, for sure. Not to mention the old magazine quote he’s put about himself up on his own website: “Someone who combines the mad lust for adventure and exotic waves with gritty strength of character in the parry and thrust of competition, plus a well-developed and active environmental conscience. He’s one pro who deserves to be look [sic] after for life”).
But for fuck’s sake, do you need call your surf school “Godfathers of the Ocean”? Some sort of Mafioso delusions of grandeur? You check out his site (http://www.godfathersoftheocean.com) and not only does he still talk about his state schoolboy win of 1984, but he happily lets everyone know that he’s sponsored a soccer team, not for his business, but just for himself. The “Munga Sharks” are probably the greatest side in the North Coast division, but informed parents must cringe at the grasps for egotistical glory being made by a man who was once so easy to love. Seriously, what would you think if your best mate said he was going home early on a Friday to get up and watch his Under 12’s netball team “Greggie’s Girls” play the next morning?
But surfing’s throwback special might be on to something. Aside from the obvious pedo inferences, I’d encourage Lost Enterprises to put up a few gees and sponsor a few local sporting teams, strategically placed around ‘QS tour stops. The Taipans’ Rugby Juniors in Capetown, Taipans’ U/15 Girl’s Soccer in Cordoama, Portugal… all they’ve gotta do is wear the Taipan proudly (tattoos for coaches and captains) and turn up to cheer for mesurf’s favourite surfing stuggler when he’s in town. I’m sure they’d back him every time, and deservedly so.
Which is more than I can you say for you lot. YOU are the reason he’s slipped down the ratings. This year, on the World Qualifying Series, Dear Reader, you have thus far achieved nought.
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Tags: bede durbidge, CHARLIE NATE, surfing, taj burrow, wct, wqs
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