THE TAIPAN
By our surfer dude
Charlie Nate
You know what? James Wood is a cunny funt but he’s probably not many kids’ favourite surfer. That’s OK – kids are generally pretty fucken stupid. The game of “Tag” is proof of this.
What I want to see next year is “James Taipan Wood” all over the WCT rankings and hopefully someone (other than that Reynolds character, who is cool, but a bit quiet) not acting like The Dream Tour is the most important thing in the modern world after climate change. Even if we can get him on the QS dias a few times this year, we can all chuckle knowingly and shake our heads, sighing “Oh… that James Dubya…. Such a character…” as we wipe a tear of joy away.
The Taipan is currently sitting in 59th spot. Which, quite frankly is pretty shit for a guy who won just about every Junior comp there ever was including Word Grommet Championship and would regularly smash the shit out of Ben Dunn and Matt Wilkinson, just to name a couple of his regular scalps. Kid got game.
59th – right between Jay Davies and what I assume is actually a girl’s name. Still, it’s very early in a long year when you only need 7 good results to crack it. That Lincoln Taylor kid is still way up the rankings, and the Brazilians up the ladder will either lose interest, or get done for steroids (Spaniard Gony Zubizarreta is in 16th, for chrissakes).
All this will open up the top 16 ‘QSers for The Taipan to dominate.
http://www.aspworldtour.com/
If he’s not in a Dream Tour main event (either by winning the Trials, or being properly seeded under the new format) by the end of 2010, I’ll punch (Current Surfing Australia Operations Manager) Dane Jordan for brutalising the sport.
And everyone, including The Taipan himself, will know that YOU, Dear Reader, have let him down with your lack of vocal support.
And let me go on record saying that, other than a mild interest in Josh Kerr’s qualification (and subsequent easy re-qualification) I’ve never really given a fuck about the ‘QS.
Who would’ve thought? The Taipan, an unlikely ambassador for the sport! (Sorry, but the Waves Black Knight Awards still don’t really count).
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April 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm |
Bells is boring this year and they’re charging admission. I think i’ll switch to following the WQS this year as well as long as the taipan in ther.
April 30, 2009 at 1:31 pm |
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